Exploring Anal Sex Toys (Why Anal Pleasure is for Everyone)

For something that involves one of the most nerve-rich areas of the human body, anal sex has carried an odd amount of mystery, shame, and taboo. But the truth is: anal pleasure isn’t weird, it’s not dirty, and it’s definitely not “just for a certain kind of person.” It’s simply another way to experience sexual enjoyment.

So, why does anal play deserve some space in your bedroom routine? Because it’s pleasurable, versatile, and inclusive. Whether you’re experimenting with anal masturbation by yourself or exploring anal sex toys with a partner, this type of play has benefits that go beyond the physical.

One of the most persistent myths is that anal sex is only for gay men. In reality, anyone with an anus can experience pleasure through anal play. Straight men, queer men, women, and non-binary folks all have nerve endings that respond to stimulation in this area. As long as you have an anus, you can have anal pleasure!

For people with prostates, anal stimulation can provide what many describe as a “P-spot orgasm” which is a deep, full-body release that’s very different from penile stimulation. For people without prostates, the sensitive nerve endings around the anus and rectal canal make anal play pleasurable in a different, but equally satisfying, way.

Put simply: if you have an anus, anal sex toys are for your pleasure.

Getting Started

Like all things that we’re trying for the first time, anal sex is best approached with curiosity, communication, and patience. If you’re trying anal sex with a partner, communication is your foundation. Talk openly about your curiosity, what excites you, and what feels off-limits. Agree on signals for slowing down or stopping. Consent isn’t just sexy; it’s the golden ticket to trust and comfort.

For solo explorers, “communication” means listening to your body. Pain is not your friend. If something hurts, it’s a sign to pause, add more lube, or try a smaller toy.

Anal muscles are designed to stay closed, which means that relaxation is key. Here are some tips for a more pleasant experience:

• Warm up externally.

Massage the cheeks as well as the outer rim of the anus with a lubricated finger. This primes our anus for play and penetration.

• Practice shallow penetration.

Before introducing toys or genitals, start with a fingertip or a small plug, and don’t go in all the way. A few centimetres will do. Once comfortable, you can go a little deeper. Remember to go very slowly.

• Relax.

When you’re stressed, the muscles will tense up, causing your anus to stay closed and tight. Breathe and let go of your anxieties. Communicate what’s making you nervous or uncomfortable and make changes in your environment. Maybe a warm bath, dimming the lights, or putting on some music can help.

• Take your time.

Pleasure is a journey without a destination. Relax and be patient. The more your body is at ease, the more enjoyable the experience will be.

Choosing the Right Anal Lube

The anus doesn’t lubricate itself, unlike a vagina. So putting anything in your butt, whether it’s a finger or a toy, when it’s unlubricated, can cause some serious pain or damage. So make this a golden rule: never skip lube. Lube makes entry so much easier and enhances the pleasurable sensations brought on by the nerve endings from your anus. Lucky for us, pjur has a wide selection of lubes to choose from. But how do you know which is the right one for you? That depends on what you like and what toy you’re using.

• Water-based lube:

Easy to clean, compatible with all toys, safe to use with condoms. However, the skin can absorb water-based lubes, calling for the need to constantly reapply. Fortunately, pjur has some excellent water-based lubricants that can last a long time without reapplication. Have a look at pjur analyse me! Moisturizing and pjur BACK DOOR Moisturizing for some great water-based lubes with the added benefit of moisturizing your skin.

• Silicone lube:

Long-lasting, doesn’t dry out, great for long sessions. However, this can leave stains if it gets on your sheets. Use waterproof sheets or a dedicated sheet for sex. Check out pjur INFINITY and pjur ORIGINAL for great silicone lubricants.

Not all lubes are created equal. Oil-based lubes, for instance, can degrade condoms and damage certain toys. Always check that your lube is toy-safe and condom-compatible. Also make sure to check the ingredients in your lube. pjur products do not contain preservatives and have specific lubes free of parabens and glycerin.

Remember to do a spot test with your lube on a toy or a small area of the skin and discontinue immediately if you see any damage or irritation. When you feel that it is safe to use, apply a generous amount of lube on both the toy and your anus, reapply as often as needed, and remember that more is always better.

The Best Anal Sex Toys for Beginners

Ready to explore? The world of anal sex toys is wonderfully diverse, offering something for every curiosity level.

The anus has a natural “sucking” tendency. This means that it normally wants to take in anything that is inserted. With that in mind, anal toys should always have a flared base. This prevents the toy from slipping in too far. Look for:

• Smooth materials like silicone, glass, or stainless steel.
• Smaller sizes that won’t feel intimidating.
• Body-safe certifications (no cheap plastics or mystery materials).

Here are some beginner-friendly anal toys:

• Butt plugs:

These come in tapered “teardrop” shapes that are easy to insert and stay in place. Some are designed for long-term wear during partnered sex. This is a great toy to leave in your rectum for a few minutes to get acquainted with penetration. These can also come in vibration models.

• Anal beads:

Picture a string with a series of gradually larger beads. They can be inserted one by one and removed during orgasm for an extra rush. You do not have to insert all the beads, so you can stop midway if the bigger beads start to feel uncomfortable. This toy is designed to be pulled out and reinserted repeatedly.

• Dildos:

These are phallic, narrow, non-intimidating toys that mimic penetration. This is a great choice if you want to train your anus for dilation as well as deeper penetration. These come in all shapes, lengths, and girths, so you can gradually go up a size when you feel that your anus is ready for more intense play. For those with a prostate, try a dildo with a curved angle for targeting the prostate more accurately. Some models can vibrate which can help in relaxing your anus.

• Strap-on:

Worn like a belt around your or your partner’s pelvis, a suitable dildo can be attached to the strap-on for partnered anal play. The giving partner can control the force and tempo of the penetration, while the receiving partner can simply enjoy. It is important to note that since the giving partner is using a toy not attached to their person and cannot know what the receiving partner is feeling, the receiving partner should always communicate what they’re feeling. Always say if you’re in pain or if you need a change of pace or angles. Pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong and stop immediately.

• Prostate stimulator:

Similar to a butt plug, prostate stimulators are designed for penetrating and stimulating the prostate due to their length and angle. Most models are designed with an L- or J-shaped base. This is designed to stimulate the prostate via the perineum externally while simultaneously targeting the prostate internally. You can leave this toy in and let the anus’ natural sucking motion do the work for you for a hands-free prostate massage experience. Some models can also vibrate to enhance the experience.

Once you’ve gained experience, you may want to try larger or more advanced toys. These include jumbo plugs, wide beads, or stretchers. They deliver intense fullness and pressure, but they’re best for experienced players who are comfortable with their bodies and committed to extra lube and patience.

How to Use Anal Toys Safely

Playing with a toy for the first time can be both nerve-wracking and exciting, but regardless of how you’re feeling, you must always play safely. Here are some tips:

• Apply plenty of anal lube.
• Insert slowly, pausing when you feel pressure.
• Stop if you feel pain. Discomfort usually means more warm-up or lube is needed.
• Always ensure the base remains outside your body.

Best Anal Play Positions

For Solo Play

• Missionary: lie on your back with your legs spread out or your knees bent. Your hands can easily access the anus with just a finger or a toy to control speed and depth. You can also access other erogenous zones on your body as you masturbate your anus. Use small circular motions on the outer ring of your anus or play with pressure.
• Doggy style: Start by going on all fours. Keep your hips up as you lower your head down and use your finger or toy to stimulate from the rear. This position can be more intense than missionary, but you have more control over your hips, allowing for more enhanced pleasure.
• Prone: Simply lie down on your stomach with your anus facing up. This is great for days when you feel lazy. Spread your legs to a wide V and access your anal opening to stimulate yourself.

For Partnered Anal Play

• Missionary: The receiving partner lies down on their back, knees bent to their chest, while the giving partner penetrates from lying down on top of the recipient. This position is a classic and allows for intimacy, eye contact, and kissing. Prop a pillow or two underneath the recipient’s pelvis for easier access.
• Doggy style: The receiving partner stays on their hands and knees while the giving partner enters from behind. This position allows the giving partner to penetrate at a deeper angle to enhance the experience. The giver can also stay still while the recipient can control the pace by bouncing back and forth.
• Riding: The giver lies on their back while the recipient mounts the giver in a “cowboy” fashion. This allows the recipient to be in complete control of tempo, speed, and depth of penetration. This is also a good position that offers lots of intimacy.

Just like trying a new exercise regimen, listen to your body and readjust your position if you start to feel pain. Muscle cramps and pains may happen if you are not warmed up properly.

Safety and Aftercare

Anal play can be incredibly fun, but like all types of sex, it’s best when it’s safe, consensual, and respectful of your body. A little aftercare goes a long way toward making sure your experience is not just pleasurable in the moment, but also healthy in the long run.

Cleaning and Storing Your Anal Toys

Anal toys come into direct contact with sensitive tissues, so hygiene is a must. Cleaning your toys right after use prevents bacteria from building up and keeps them safe for the next round. Here’s how to do it properly:

• Use warm water and mild soap or a specialised toy cleaner such as pjur TOY FOAM. Avoid harsh chemicals that can irritate sensitive tissue.
• Pay attention to textures. Toys with ridges or beads can trap bacteria, so clean them carefully in every groove.
• Dry thoroughly. Moisture can harbour bacteria and damage certain toy materials. Pat dry with a clean towel and let air-dry completely before storing.
• Store separately. Keep toys in fabric pouches or individual containers. Don’t let silicone toys touch each other; they can degrade if stored in direct contact. If possible, keep the original packaging.

Recognizing When to Slow Down or Stop

Anal play should never feel like a “push through the pain” situation. Look out for:

• Sharp or stabbing pain (this usually means your muscles aren’t relaxed enough).
• Bleeding (indicates a tear or too much force—stop immediately).
• Numbness or discomfort after play (a sign that you may have gone too big, too fast).

When in doubt: slow down, use more anal lube, or switch to a smaller toy. Listening to your body is part of what makes anal play sustainable and fun.

Emotional and Physical Aftercare for You and Your Partner

Aftercare isn’t just for intense BDSM. It’s for any kind of intimacy. Anal play can be physically and emotionally intense, so giving yourself or your partner care afterwards helps build trust and comfort.

• Cuddle time:

Physical closeness after play can ease vulnerability and help your body come down from the adrenaline.

• Hydrate:

Sex is dehydrating. Water or electrolyte drinks help you bounce back.

• Bathroom break:

 Totally normal, and often necessary both before and after anal play. Take your time and let your body reset following anal play.

• Gentle reassurance: 

Check in with each other. Did you enjoy it? Anything to do differently next time? A quick chat helps you feel connected and respected.

• Soothing care:

A warm bath or shower can relax sore muscles. Some people also like applying a gentle, body-safe soothing lotion around the area (nothing with harsh chemicals).

Anal Care

• Pelvic floor exercises:

Just like Kegels for vaginal health, strengthening anal and pelvic floor muscles can support long-term anal play comfort.

• Spacing out intense sessions:

If you’ve used larger toys or had vigorous play, give your body a rest day or two before your next session.

• Routine checks:

If you notice persistent discomfort, bleeding, or changes in anal control, check in with a healthcare provider. Anal play shouldn’t leave long-term problems.

Focusing on safety and aftercare makes anal play more fun. When you know your body (and toys!) are cared for, you can relax, explore more deeply, and build positive experiences that keep you coming back for more.
Anal play doesn’t have to be mysterious, intimidating, or taboo. With the right mindset, the right toys, and the right lube, it can be a source of pleasure, connection, and curiosity no matter your gender, orientation, or experience level. Allow yourself to explore without judgment. Anal sex toys aren’t about fitting into a stereotype. They’re about discovering what makes you feel good. Some people fall in love with butt plugs. Others find anal beads thrilling. Prostate owners may discover orgasms they never thought possible. And some may just enjoy the intimacy of trying something new with a trusted partner.
There’s no “right” way to enjoy anal play, as long as it’s safe, consensual, and pleasurable.

About the author

Tim is a board-certified sexology educator with the American Board of Sexology and the host of the Canadian Podcast Award-winning show Sex Ed with Tim. In his free time, Tim likes to volunteer and give back to the community through outreach in Toronto’s LGBTQ+ scene, providing sex education and harm reduction resources to the public. It is his mission in life to make sex fun and funny as he loves to make people laugh and believes in the curative powers of hilarity.

Photo credits: shutterstock_1218431191; pexels-cottonbro-6754661