Male G-Spot Explained: What the Prostate Does and How to Explore Prostate Play
The male G-Spot is called the prostate, aka the P-Spot. For many penis-owners, the prostate is shrouded in shame and is something only gay men should enjoy; some don’t even know it exists (it’s in your butt). But, to a lot of us, the prostate is this magical secret button that unlocks a whole new realm of orgasmic pleasure.
I want to start with a very quick disclaimer: what you enjoy in bed has zero correlation to your sexual orientation. You can be a cis straight man and still enjoy anal play, even receptive. Your sexual orientation is irrelevant; it isn’t about what we enjoy in bed, but who we enjoy in bed; it’s about who we’re sexually attracted to. So boys, if you’re fantasizing about your butt getting some action, you’re absolutely not alone.
What Is The Male G-Spot?
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland, sitting between the bladder and the rectum, about 2 inches inside, and is on the same side as your belly button or penis.
What Does the Prostate Do?
The prostate is a vital part of the male reproductive system, so let’s talk prostate anatomy.
- The testicles produce sperm, which is pushed upwards towards the seminal glands at the beginning of ejaculation.
- The Seminal gland produces the majority of the liquid that makes up semen, which gives the sperm energy to just keep swimming.
- The prostate produces a prostatic fluid that helps to keep sperm healthy.
- The prostate, combined with other muscular contractions such as the pelvic floor, pushes the now fully formed semen out of the body.
Why Can The Prostate Also Be A Pleasure Zone?
Now, because of the prostate’s vital role in ejaculation, it is densely packed with nerve endings, making it very sensitive. Stimulating it feels incredible, but reaching a prostate orgasm?? God damn. But this isn’t to be mistaken for an anal orgasm; whilst they are closely related anatomically, they have distinct differences, and end results…
Anal Orgasm Vs Prostate Orgasm
Anal orgasm
An anal orgasm is caused primarily by the friction and stimulation of the anal walls and sphincter contractions. This often feels more localized to your downstairs and the pelvic floor, which can generally feel very intense (speaking from experience).
Prostate orgasm
A prostate orgasm is more specifically describing the sensations resulting from directly stimulating the prostate. This often feels like a more full-body experience rather than a localized one, and feels even more insane.
I like the analogy of a flower opening up…it really does feel like your butt is welcoming in whatever is causing the feeling (getting chills just writing this btw, yikes!)
Both of these terms are often used interchangeably, and many experience them simultaneously due to them being so closely linked, but today’s priority is a prostate orgasm.
How to Stimulate the Prostate and Have A Prostate Orgasm
Beginner Prostate Massage Basics
You know how I said the prostate is on the same side as your belly button? Well, imagine you’ve inserted your fingers with them facing upwards towards it, and you’re doing that “come here” motion.
I’m not talking aggressively; we’re not trying to take a biopsy. Doing this motion gently will press your finger(s) right up against the prostate, and the level of intensity you use depends on your experience and comfort levels. This is the most basic prostate massage and requires nothing more than a finger and a prostate.
Prostate massagers are anal toys that are designed with the perfect curve to put gentle yet intense pressure on the prostate from insertion. The benefit of these is that once they’re in, they often stay in, making them optimal for partnered play. So if you wanna try your prostate being stimulated and top simultaneous, a prostate massager is a Godsend. These can also increase your chance of a prostate orgasm, as they’re not guaranteed to happen every time.
Exploring Prostate Play During Masturbation vs With a Partner
One of the biggest fears people tend to have when considering prostate massages, or any butt play, is what the butt is usually used for. The rectum itself is actually just a temporary holding area for poop just before you toilet, and so generally does not contain feces. If, of course, your stomach is a little less cooperative, then there are a few things you can do.
Put a towel down
The gays have been doing this for decades to save our sheets if nothing else. Sometimes mess happens, and that’s okay! But it’s better to be prepared just in case,
Have a gentle rinse
Quickly hop in the shower and gently insert a (lubed) finger inside to remove any residue that may be in there using soap. It’s perfectly okay to do this; you’re in the shower, so just wash!
Wear a latex glove
For most people this won’t be necessary, but if you’re completely new and really worried about mess, then this just provides a simple barrier without removing any sensations.
Trim your nails
The rectal lining is very delicate and prone to tearing, which can not only hurt, but can increase your risk of STI’s or, more long-term, backdoor injuries. So make sure nothing with sharp edges is going up there. Plus, if you have longer nails, it’ll be harder to clean if mess does happen.
Relax and breathe deeply
One of the main things to do when exploring anything butt-related for the first time is to relax. When you’re anxious or nervous, your body can enter fight or flight, speeding up your digestion…and we know what that means. So trying to remain calm and in control means your butt stays in control too.
Anxiety can also cause the sphincters (the muscles surrounding the entrance) to tighten, making insertion more difficult. Relaxing and taking deep breaths can make the process much smoother, literally.
Internal vs External Prostate Stimulation
The prostate can be accessed both internally and externally. Perineum play is the act of stimulating the area of skin between the rectum and your balls. The prostate rests just above this and can be indirectly massaged here too.
If you want to massage both simultaneously without a toy, you’ll be making a C shape with your hand; insert 1 or 2 fingers inside and repeat the same “come here” motion, and apply gentle pressure with your thumb on the perineum and move in a circular motion.
Can You Have A Hands-Free Orgasm?
It’s absolutely possible to have a hands-free prostate orgasm, but it just requires some other things: a toy or the real thing.
To achieve a prostate orgasm from penetration, the prostate needs to be continually stimulated, which is best achieved by having sex in certain positions that allow the penis (or dildo) to directly rub up against it. Referring to the above diagram might help you visualize it:
Best Positions For Hands-Free Prostate Stimulation
Missionary
When the receiving partner’s legs are up closer to their head, or there’s a pillow under their butt / lower back.
Doggystyle
When the receptive partner is on their hands and knees, it accentuates the natural bend in the rectum.
Riding tabletop
This position is where the receptive partner is facing the penetrative partner, with their feet firmly planted either side of their torso, and their hands planted either side of their legs, in a form of table top position.
What Is Prostate Milking?
Prostate Milking vs Prostate Massage
Prostate milking is not the same as a prostate massage, as prostate milking requires the intense internal stimulation via the rectum, whereas a prostate massage can include the external stimulation of the perineum.
Tantric Prostate Milking
Prostate milking is the act of trying to literally “milk” the prostatic fluid out of the prostate, which can leak out of the penis resembling semen. When this is incorporated in a tantric massage, where multiple erogenous zones are stimulated, prostate milking can become more intense. The prolonged arousal, such as edging, prompts the prostate to secrete extra fluid temporarily, meaning there is more to be ‘milked’.
When To Avoid It
Whilst prostate milking can be very hot and definitely a lot of fun, there are some scenarios where it needs to be avoided. If you have an active infection (such as acute prostatitis), prostate milking can end up pushing bacteria into the urinary tract or into the bloodstream, especially if there are active tears.
How Prostate Play Can Improve Your Sex Life
Body Awareness & Confidence
Experimenting with prostate stimulation is a whole new way to explore your body. The more time you spend with your own pleasure center and learning its sensations, the more sexually confident you will become. Trust me.
Communication & Intimacy
Experimenting with prostate stimulation with a partner is one of the most intimate things you can do, as for many it’s uncharted territory. It requires a lot of trust and consistent open communication not just to maximize pleasure, but to do it safely.
Exploration and Alternatives to Penis Pleasure
None of us really grow up with any concrete sex education, and any we did receive certainly didn’t talk about pleasure. Cis men then believe that the only real pleasure from sex is cumming and calling it a day, but male pleasure is so much more than that. Exploration can unlock a whole new realm of pleasure.
Safety Tips for Beginner Prostate Play
When it comes to anything to do with the butt, patience is key. The rectum is a very delicate area, and what may be light work for one person could take months of practice for someone else.
Take it slow
Listening to your body or to your partner is crucial. As the receptive partner, it’s important to communicate and never mask pain, and as the penetrative partner, never force it when you feel resistance. Resistance is not the same as tightness; tightness is what’s surrounding what’s being inserted, and resistance is stopping what’s being inserted from going any further.
Start with hands
Hands allow you to be hyperaware of any distinct feelings inside and to be as gentle as possible, plus fingers are relatively small! Build up to bigger.
Use the right toys
Any toy being used needs to be made of body-safe material such as silicone, and must have a flared base. Without one, you risk the toy shooting up into the abyss and needing a doctor to surgically remove it…and no one wants to have that conversation.
Always use lube
I don’t care how much saliva you think is enough; it won’t be. Spit dries quickly, whereas a specially formulated anal lube, such as pjur analyse me!, is much longer-lasting.
Choosing the Right Lubricant for Prostate Play
Why lubricant is essential
The rectum’s delicate lining is prone to tearing if butt-play isn’t approached correctly, which includes not using enough lube! Lube is non-negotiable; it keeps your butt safe and, bluntly, makes the whole experience more pleasurable.
Water-based lubricant vs. silicone lubricant
Silicone-based lube is much longer lasting and can be great for anal sex, but can be much harder to clean up. Since not all silicone formulas are compatible with silicone sex toys, it’s best to read the manufacturer's information to see if they can be used together. Water-based lube will dissolve in water, so not great for shower sex and, due to moisture in the rectum, will need re-applying. It can still be long-lasting, but not as long as silicone.
pjur lubricants for prostate play
Choosing the right lube often fully depends on personal preference. If you’re intending on having a longer, more intense session and don’t mind putting a blanket down, then pjur BACK DOOR lubes are better, as they’re designed for intensive intercourse. If, however, you’re seeking a slower, more explorative beginner’s session, then the pjur analyse me! lubes might be more your pace. Then it’s entirely up to you whether you wish to go down the silicone or water-based route, but the longer the formula lasts, the better.
Ready to take pleasure to the next level?
Explore pjur’s full range of specially designed anal lubricants and find the right one to suit you.
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Photo credits: pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4830966; Substack CLIMAX; pexels-cottonbro-6763687
