How to Use Personal Lubricant for Sex: Best Tips for Using Lube for Any Kind of Intimacy

Lube is one of the most underrated tools in the bedroom that can provide pleasure. There's a stereotype that lube is only for people experiencing dryness or hormone changes, but even if you don't need it, it's a great way to enhance sensation in your solo play and partnered sex. But what exactly is lube, and how does it work? In this step-by-step guide to using lube for intimacy, we'll show you how to use personal lubricant in different scenarios so you can experience mind-blowing sexual experiences. With 30 years of experience in the pleasure biz, there's no one better to show you the way.

What is lube?

Lube is a gel or liquid designed to reduce friction and make a surface (in this context, your genitals) slippery or smooth. Personal lube can be used for all kinds of sex, and some can be used with sex toys. Ultimately, lube creates a smoother ride during sexual activity, which typically generates quite a bit of friction. 

What is the best lubricant for beginners?

There's no universal 'best lube for sex'. Different lubes address different needs - here's a breakdown of all the types of lubes you can use.

Different types of lubricants

Water-based lube
Water-based lubricant is one of the most popular options because of its versatility; it can be used with sex toys and condoms, and won't stain bed sheets. Water-based lubes from high-quality brands like pjur have a silky, non-sticky feel. It nourishes the skin and soaks into the mucous membranes of the vagina with ease, but since it absorbs into the skin quickly, it's not as long-lasting as silicone formulas.

Silicone lube
Silicone lubricant is one of the longest-lasting options out there, making it perfect for underwater play and anal sex. Due to silicone molecules, which are larger than the pores in our skin, it's not absorbed as easily as water-based formulas and stays on the surface, reducing the need for reapplication. It has a luxuriously slippery texture, but due to its long-lasting nature, it can also be harder to wash off. Silicone lubricants are generally not recommended for use with silicone toys, as they can degrade the material over time especially if the toy is not made from high-quality silicone.

Hybrid lube
Hybrid lubes combine the best of water-based and silicone-based formulas by utilizing a mix of both. Therefore some of them may be used on sex toys, they still provide long-lasting glide, but aren't as likely to stain as a fully silicone formula.

Oil-based lube
Many people use coconut oil as a DIY lubricant at home, but since it's not pH balanced and leaves a coating on the rectum or vagina, it may disrupt your pH balance and cause infections. These kinds of lube also shouldn't be used with latex condoms since oils can damage or weaken the material and negate their safety.

The importance of pH-balanced lubricant

The vaginal canal has a specific pH range, so to avoid infections and discomfort, you'll want to opt for a pH balanced, dermatologically tested lubricant. For instance, pjur INFINITY water-based is pH-optimized, making it ideal for people with vulvas. 

How do you use lube for sex?

Not sure how to use personal lubricant for different types of penetration? We've got your back.

How to apply lubricant for anal sex vs vaginal sex

While using lubricant for vaginal sex may be intuitive to some, learning how to use lube for anal sex can come with a learning curve. Since the rectum doesn't naturally lubricate, you'll want to use a more liberal amount of long-lasting lube; ideally it will be a silicone or hybrid formula, but there are also water-based lubes designed specifically for anal sex that have a plusher feel. 

The first step of navigating how to use personal lubricant for anal sex is to apply a generous amount of lube to both the entrance of the anus as well as fingers, toys, or penis (whatever will be penetrating). Then, very slowly and gently, insert an inch or two. If you feel any discomfort, reapply as needed. Still not sure how to apply lubricant for anal sex? Lube syringes can make it easier and way less messy. You can also purchase lube syringes which will lubricate the inside of the anus and provide more comfortable entry.

For vaginal sex, apply a small amount to the vaginal opening and the penis or sex toy using a lube of your choice (just make sure it's water-based if you're using toys). If you're experiencing dryness, hormonal changes, or added friction due to condoms, feel free to apply a little extra. Remember you can always add more later.

Using lube for menstrual cup insertion

While our main goal here is to teach you how to use personal lubricant for sex, it can also be used for people with vulvas who use menstrual cups. Inserting menstrual cups can be a bit tricky, and using a water-based lube (silicone can damage the cup) can help the cup slide in more smoothly and make the process more comfortable, especially for beginners or those experiencing dryness. 

Using lube for masturbation, fingering and handjobs

Using lube can greatly improve masturbation and foreplay for people with penises and vulvas. For both external stimulation and penetration, lube can reduce friction and add sensation, making for a more pleasurable solo session. It's the perfect accessory to explore mindful masturbation, slowing down and focusing on the enhanced sensation that the lubricant is providing.

If you have a penis, apply lube to the tip and shaft, gliding your hand up and down. You can also apply it to your hands and rub them together to warm up the lube beforehand, since lube can feel cold at first and make it harder to relax. If you do this with a silicone lube, make sure to wash your hands after your session or place a towel underneath you to avoid any staining on bed sheets or clothing.

For vulva owners, experiment with internal and external application, spreading it onto the labia, clitoris, and vaginal canal if you're inserting a toy. You can also apply lube directly to vibrators. Just be sure to thoroughly wash it off afterward with gentle soap and warm water. 

How much lube should I use during sex?

With silicone and hybrid formulas, a little goes a long way, so start with a dime or nickel-sized amount before you reapply. If you apply too much initially, you may experience reduced sensation. That said, there's no 'right' amount. Listen to your body and pay attention to your feelings. If you're experiencing friction, dryness, or discomfort, you probably need to reapply.

Can you use lube with condoms?

Yes! Using lubricant with condoms can enhance comfort and protect against breakage. The best lube for anal sex with condoms (or vaginal sex, for that matter) would be water or silicone-based lube if you're using latex condoms, as oil-based lubes can break down the material and increase the risk of STI transmission and pregnancy. While the lube will be mostly applied outside of the condom in order to reduce friction and discomfort, you can add a few drops of lube inside the condom for comfort as well.

Is personal lubricant safe to use every time?

Using personal lubricant regularly isn't just safe, we encourage it! Using it regularly can enhance comfort, reduce micro-tears, lead to safer sex, and make for a more pleasurable experience during solo and partnered play. Be sure to use a high-quality lube every time. pjur specifically formulates lubes that are free of parabens, glycerine, and harsh chemicals, which will help you avoid irritation. We also carry specific lines of personal lubricant for sensitive skin designed with your health in mind. Opting for a lower quality lube can impact your health, so only use body-safe, pH-balanced formulas.

How to use orgasm gel to complement lube usage

While the primary goal of this guide is teaching you how to use personal lubricant, we want to let you in on a little secret: orgasm gel can be lube's best friend. Apply an orgasm gel like pjur WOMAN Lust to your external intimate area for extra stimulation during masturbation or sex. Orgasm gels don't provide lubrication as personal lubricants do, but they do arouse your body to enhance natural lubrication and sexual pleasure. 

While some orgasm gels work solely by increasing blood flow to the areas, WOMAN Lust uses a natural ingredient called Spilanthes Acmella Flower Extract that creates a vibrating sensation on the clitoris, leading some to call it a liquid vibrator. It's water-based, so if you want an even stronger sensation, you can layer in toys or opt for the more concentrated version, WOMAN Lust Intense.  

Apply a small amount of orgasm gel to the clitoris before applying lube, as the gel may need skin contact to activate. Use lube a few minutes after application to maintain glide during playtime. Use this gel during foreplay to boost your arousal and take your pleasure to new heights. 

Adding lube to your routine

While lube can help you avoid pain during sex and make the process more comfortable, it can also be a way for you to discover new sensations and what makes you tick. It's an easy way to increase arousal naturally, make your foreplay spicier, and help you feel more empowered during all your bedroom encounters.